Won't You Be My Girlfriend (I'll Treat You Good)?
by Midnight's Violet Haze
Summary: For the Norsekink prompt: Loki gets a text "meet me in front of the school at 3. I need you to pretend you are a girl and my girlfriend. please." Loki arrives, dressed, make-uped and everything as a female. And he is not only passing as a girl, he is drop dead gorgeous. High School AU. Thorki. Rated for mentions of sexual things.


**Not a lot of prompts ~speak to me, but this one did. I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you have fun reading it.**

**Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.**

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**Won't You Be My Girlfriend (I'll Treat You Good)?**

When Loki gets the text he's in the middle of painstakingly creating a list of every girl that Fandral Dash has ever slept with in his perfect imitation of Fandral's loopy cursive, complete with unfavourable little comments and asides under each girl's name. He glances at his phone, lying on his bedside table, adds a little flourish to Gudrun's name and then sets his pen down.

It's a message from Thor. Loki's tempted to ignore it, but his hand is cramping and he needs a break. Thor's always good for a laugh. That is, laughter that involves Loki taking pleasure in Thor's stupidity while Thor tries to keep his temper in check.

Or better yet, maybe Thor wants to fuck. He's been giving Loki the cold shoulder on that front since Loki came on his face, but was it really Loki's responsibility to tell him to keep his eyes shut? It's called common sense, Thor.

He opens the text and quirks a brow.

[From Thor: meet me in front of the school at 3. I need you to pretend you are a girl and my girlfriend. please.]

Loki's curiosity is piqued. Thor never says please.

[To Thor: You want to try role playing again? Ambitious. You were so fucking awful last time I went soft.]

Loki doesn't have to wait long before he gets a reply.

[From Thor: im serious.]

Glancing around his bedroom, Loki contemplates his response. He'd phoned in sick today because he was a week ahead in schoolwork and there hadn't been anything exciting enough going on outside of the classrooms to warrant his attendance. Precisely why he was currently creating some excitement via his list.

He makes up his mind, but decides to make Thor squirm a little.

[To Thor: No. Ask Sif.]

There's no way Thor would ask Sif. Even Thor wasn't oblivious enough not to notice her little crush and asking her to be his fake girlfriend would be too cruel.

[From Thor: cmon loki. I'll owe you.]

Loki smirks. Jackpot.

[To Thor: Fine.]

He hopes Thor worries over the one word response, trying to gauge Loki's mood. Most likely he won't even notice, but Loki can dream.

Stepping off his bed and stretching his lean, pajama clad body, Loki crouches down and pulls a heavy trunk out from under his bed. Popping open the lid, he pulls out a wig and strokes it thoughtfully. It's made up of Sif's natural blond hair and had cost a pretty hefty favour. On second thought, he tucks it away and grabs a black wig. This is probably more towards Thor's taste; there's a reason Sif now dyes her hair.

The possibility that this is some kind of trick is nearly negligible. It's not Thor's style. Loki wouldn't put it past one of the three idiots though. Or Sif. He can never keep track of whether or not he's on good terms with her; as far as he remembers they're fine at the moment.

Oh well. At least it'll be something interesting to do. And Loki's never faced a trick he couldn't twist around to his own benefit.

He smirks, playing with a frilly pair of stockings. This is going to be so fun.

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"So where's this girlfriend of yours, Thor? I'm starting to think you made her up," Amora says, her voice pitched unnaturally high. Her lips are smiling but her eyes are mean. "This little charade is starting to hurt our feelings."

Unlike her sister, Lorelei wears her irritation on her face. "We're not going to wait around all day because you forgot that she left for Canada or something."

Thor swallows down his nerves. "She'll be here soon. Just got caught up in something, I'm sure."

The Borssons and the Chants go way back and Thor's parents have not so subtly been pushing him at one of their daughters. Thor thinks that his father might actually be angling for a threesome, but the thought is so horrifying that he chooses to ignore it. Besides, the eye patch makes it impossible to tell if Odin is winking at the innuendo he made or just plain old blinking.

In any case, as hot as the Chant sisters are, Thor has no desire to end up like Skurge. And though Odin's threats of disownment tend to amount to nothing, Thor doesn't want to risk his father's ire by alienating his oldest friends and business partners.

Though he'd managed to get great mileage out of his fake girlfriend at their formal get-togethers, it was getting harder and harder to come up with excuses as to why he hadn't brought her home to meet the parents yet. And when Amora and Lorelei had oh so kindly offered to pick him up after school on their way to another joint dinner, it had come with the expectation that he should finally present some proof of his girlfriend's existence.

Thor can only hope that Loki comes through.

"Sorry, I'm late, honey. The trip to my locker took _so_ much longer without you and your _strong_ arms to carry my books."

Thor doesn't really have a lot of time to take in Loki's appearance before Loki's planting a wet kiss on his lips. When Loki pulls back, Thor runs his tongue across his lips, pondering the foreign taste. It's then that he realizes that Loki is wearing dark red lipstick and it's not even the tiniest bit smudged from that kiss.

"Oh, let me get that for you," Loki coos, his usual baritone replaced with something a little higher though still low and seductive sounding for a woman. He smiles sweetly at him, batting mascara-lengthened lashes over his wide green eyes lined with winged liner. Then, with a manicured hand, Loki pulls out a delicate looking handkerchief out of his purse – purse! – and dabs at Thor's lips.

Thor just stands there, slack jawed.

Loki looks _beautiful_. He always does and although Thor had suspected that he would make a good looking girl, the reality far outclasses his imagination.

Loki's slim figure fits easily into a grey pinafore that cinches in the middle to show off Loki's thin waist and flares out to add some width to Loki's hips. With the stiff white button up fitted to perfection and the black thigh highs drawing attention to his long, long legs, Loki looks like a more sophisticated version of the sexy school girl stereotype.

"Um." Thor can't help but reach out, wanting to card his hand through Loki's waist-length, shiny black hair. Loki slaps his hand away with a covert glare that fills Thor with relief because it confirms that, yes, that really is Loki under there.

Thor figures Loki should be grateful that Thor went for the hair rather than the realistic looking, if small, breast-shaped lumps that are protruding from Loki's normally flat chest.

"Oh! How rude of me!" Loki gasps prettily, head tilting to the side so that his long hair cascades over his shoulder. "I didn't see you there. I guess when it comes to this guy, I have tunnel vision." Loki lets out a cute giggle and wraps both arms around one of Thor's, neatly tucking himself into Thor's side. "I'm Loki, Thor's girlfriend."

Loki doesn't bother to extend a hand and by the way that Lorelei and Amora's strained smiles twitch, it doesn't go unnoticed.

"Lovely to meet you," Amora says, sounding as if it's anything but, "I'm Amora and this is my twin sister, Lorelei."

"A pleasure," Lorelei adds, eyes narrowed.

Thor suspects that he might have made a miscalculation here. Loki looks too perfect. So much so that it seems like Amora and Lorelei are taking it as a challenge.

Crossing her arms, Amora smiles tightly. "You know what? _Loki_, you absolutely must come to dinner with us," she says.

Lorelei glances at her sister quizzically before catching on. "Oh, you absolutely must! Odin – Thor's father, he prefers _us_ to call him by his first name – might be a little displeased at first, but I'm sure the two of us can smooth the way."

"After all, it's ludicrous that Thor hasn't brought you over yet. It's not like he could possibly be _ashamed_ of you. I mean, _look at you_," Amora says pleasantly.

Squeezing Thor's arm tighter, Loki hedges. "Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't want to intrude," he says.

"We have these dinners _all the time_," Lorelei insists, "I'm sure Thor would appreciate your presence."

All three of them turn to Thor for final input. Loki's nails are digging into his skin, but Thor's a little distracted by the light scent of Loki's perfume. "Uh, sure," he fumbles. Loki's nails might have broken skin.

"Perfect!" Amora cheers with a little clap of her hands. "We'll bring the car around." She and Lorelei leave, whispering furiously to each other and glancing back every now and then with wide smiles.

"Dinner with the parents wasn't part of the _deal_, Thor," Loki hisses, stepping away from Thor. He tosses his head back in an affronted manner, the familiar move made all the more dramatic by his newly long hair.

Thor puts on his best pair of puppy-eyes, drawing Loki closer with one large hand flat across Loki's small waist. "You look beautiful," he says. Loki's wearing kitten heels, propping him up at about the same height as Thor so that Thor doesn't have to bend his neck very far to stare into those green eyes.

"Thor."

"Really." Thor lifts one of Loki's manicured hands to place a soft kiss on his thin wrist just above the elegant bracelet he's wearing.

Loki sighs. "So what? Is this your way of making things official," he teases.

Thor winds a long lock of hair around his finger and then ducks down to press a soft kiss against those sinful lips that look even more tempting painted blood red. "Maybe," he says.

Because why not? Two birds, one stone.

Plus it might mean he gets to see Loki dressed up like this more often.

**End.**

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**Outtake**

**(Later At Dinner)**

"Thor has certainly done well for himself. You are a very finely formed young lady, Loki," Odin says between large gulps of wine.

"Father!" Thor callously wonders what his homophobic father's reaction would be if he knew that Loki was very much _male_.

"Here, have some more strawberries, dear," Frigga says, piling chocolate covered strawberries onto Loki's desert plate. "You really must come for a tour afterwards. The master bedroom has a water bed and there's more than enough room for three."

Thor chokes on a grape. "Mother!"

Rather than look as appalled as Thor feels, Loki, to Thor's dismay, seems _intrigued_.

"Okay! We're leaving!" Thor announces, grabbing Loki by the hand and hauling him out of his seat.

"I can't believe you haven't invited me to dinner before. I've been missing out! Tell me, does it turn into an all-out orgy at the end?" Loki whispers into his ear as Thor guides them out of the dining room.

"Stop trying to turn me on while talking about my parents! It's confusing."

"Well you just cost me what I suspect would have been a very kinky threesome, so I expect you to fully make it up to me. Get creative."

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**Please R&amp;R, feedback is always appreciated.**

**Midnight's Violet Haze**

**HS**


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